


an apology; or a start at least.

by prouveyrac



Series: you have to fight for what's in your heart [2]
Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 03:01:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4987552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prouveyrac/pseuds/prouveyrac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A book about Tevinter history wasn’t the best “sorry I made you think you saw me die” apology gift, but it was a start.</p>
            </blockquote>





	an apology; or a start at least.

If Camris got a single gold coin every time someone gave him the strangest look when he, the Elven Inquisitor, asked for a book that didn’t shit on Tevinter, he would be able to buy the entire country.

He really shouldn’t have been surprised that it was a challenge to find books about Tevinter that weren’t “blood magic propaganda” (as Dorian would say). He was in, well, any place outside of Tevinter.

“Well, Lord Inquisitor, I do have a  _brand new copy_  of  _Maleficar Imperio_ -”

“As did the merchant before you,” Camris sighed, tucking loose strands of hair behind his ear. “I… do you happen to have any books on Tevinter history? The first kings of the country? The Ambassadoria?”

The merchant frowned, gently putting the book back into a bag. His bushy eyebrows furrowed as he continued to shuffle through his wares. “I-I have that book about Shartan,  _Slavery in the Tevinter Imperium_ -” he listed quickly before Camris interjected:

“Thank you for you help, but I must go.”

The merchant sighed as Camris walked away, but didn’t offer any other titles.

He wasn’t far from Skyhold. He had hoped to find success where he could not in the fortress. The merchants that set up outside of Skyhold, some as far as miles out, usually sold… interesting items. Though, it seemed that even merchants only carried the same books the Inquisition was given as gifts.

Just a mile outside of Skyhold, a new merchant had set up a booth. The merchant had boxes set up behind them, and a single chest on the corner of their table.

_Might as well_ , Camris thought as he approached the merchant. Skipping greetings, he asked, “Do you have any books on Tevinter that aren’t based on slaves or blood magic?”

The merchant looked up with a raised eyebrow. “I have one,” they said. “The origins of the Court of Magisters. No blood magic, no slaves. It eventually mentions the first Archon, Darinius.” They then narrowed their eyes. “It is quite an old book, quite a valuable one. Why do you need it? Your… people generally don’t look at Tevinter with much gratitude.” Their eyes flickered to Camris’ pointed ears.

“It’s not for me, it’s for a… friend,” he said, refusing to elaborate anymore. “How much will it cost?”

“Five hundred gold.”

Any other day, Camris would have bargained. But on the off chance he insults the merchant and doesn’t get the book at all, he fished out the coins and handed them over without complaint.

Camris had the book securely in his bag as he walked back to Skyhold. Dorian’s words from a couple days ago drifted back into his mind:

_“You sent me ahead and then didn’t follow. For just a moment, I was certain you wouldn’t. I thought: this is it. This is where I finally lose him forever.”_

A book about Tevinter history wasn’t the best “sorry I made you think you saw me die” apology gift, but it was a start.

Camris found Dorian in his library, eyes quickly scanning the lines of a beat-up book. Dorian looked up when Camris practically shoved the book in his face. He raised an eyebrow and looked down at the embroidered cover. “Now, what’s this?”

“A book about the Court of Magisters and the Archon… the first one,” Camris said, letting Dorian take it from his grasp. “I think we were all getting tired of seeing the same books about blood magic in every library.”

Dorian furrowed his eyebrows, examining the book. “This book is old, obviously valuable. How did you find this?”

“A merchant sold it to me with minimum questioning.”

The other smiled slightly. “How delightful of them,” he murmured, holding the book back out. “Well, I believe it’s safe to assume that you will let me read it sometime, yes?”

Camris frowned slightly. “Dorian, I bought it for you. Think of it as an apology gift-”

“What?”

He continued on, “Also you do seem rather annoyed when you see the books about Tevinter here so I thought it would be nice if you have your own that isn’t about slavery or blood magic-”

“Camris, wait,” Dorian said, standing up from his seat. “You got me this… as an apology gift?” He cocked his head slightly, a confused look on his face.

Camris nodded slowly, scratching the back of his neck. “I wanted to at least give a start of a proper apology for what happened at Adamant and the Fade…. Yes, the Fade was terrifying; I have never been more scared. But for some reason I wasn’t thinking about the fact that we might not get out of there alive.”

“We could have already been dead,” Dorian interrupted. “We weren’t just mentally in the fade, our bodies rotting as we are stuck in dreams. We were there physically-”

“It was near impossible to get out, I know,” Camris sighed. “It’s just… I was already in the Fade once. When I was in there again, I was just thinking about getting us out, getting you out. I should have said this earlier, but I didn’t mean for you to be there with me. I didn’t mean to put you through that, making you think that you… lost me.”

“I was terrified that you would be killed, or possessed. That you would die before you touched the ground. I wouldn’t… couldn’t be able to handle that. You made it out alive and it was a miracle, but if it happens again… I don’t know.”

“It won’t happen again.” Camris wasn’t necessarily lying, he just… didn’t know.

“That I hope for,” Dorian said quietly and brought the book closer to him.

“Well, I didn’t mean to disturb your reading,” Camris said. “I’ll probably be in the War Room if you need me.”

Before Camris could leave, Dorian took a step forward and closed the gap in between them, kissing him softly. “Thank you for the gift, _Amatus_ ,” he whispered, cupping his cheek.

Camris smiled. “Of course,  _Emma lath_.” 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading and feedback is welcome!!!
> 
> follow me on tumblr @ archdemoned.tumblr.com


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